Hi all, I just want some opinions here.
I got my connected collector badge today(thanks Dave,very nice). It was on the kitchen counter and my son comes by and picks it up. He asks me if I`m a wacko, with a sly grin on his face. I tell him,"you`d better believe it". Then he says," too bad you had to pick a racial slur for a name".
Then it struck me, yes it can be used as a racial slur. I haven`t given it any thought in that vein and I would like to here some from some fellow Forum members in how they view my user name.
I didn`t pick it to offend or to make any kind of a statement.
Should I change it?

terry

I guess most everyone is concerned with political correctness these days, but your handle doesn't offend me. I figured it had something to do with the Tarheels, so which would be worst? It's all about your intent, you certainly won't please everyone. I can't speak for everyone, but I didn't give it a second thought.
Bud

Terry,

As Bud said, I also presummed you chose the name to relate to the fact that you are a Tarheel. (Gee, that alone is enough of a burden. TIC!!!) Political correctness has everyone going to incredible extremes, and sometimes causes you to think way too long about something as simple as a name. Did I read your name as a racial slur - never gave it a thought. After all, I'm a retired Navy spook so I guess we will be politically incorrect together.

Dave [img]http://www.members.iquest.net/~dhannum/spy.thm[/img]

Terry,

I agree with Dave and Bud. When I saw your name, I immediately assumed you were from NC and was envious of how close you were to some gorgeous lighthouses. (I'm making my first trip there this fall and can't wait!) I think people get offended very easily these days and really need to learn to toughen up a bit. I personally never even thought of it until I read your post, and am now reminded of the classic Disney film that is loved by many (Song of the South) that Disney barely acknowledges making for fear of tarnishing its reputation. I think your name is neat, and I personally like it. However, if it makes you uncomfortable for any reason, then change it. If not, I wouldn't worry what someone else might think.

----------Becki

I too never thought of anything else but NC. And who cares what someone else might think anyway. It's your name and if you like it, keep it!!!

Stephanie

Ok - here's a suggestion. Have your son (don't know his age) do a research paper on the Uncle Remus stories by Joel Chandler Harris. This might prove a very enlightening exercise in cultural anthropology.

First off he might find these tales from the plantation are widely available for sale.

Your son may also learn that Harris' work is often considered a documentary, where Harris attempts to capture the dialect and folklore of slaves as told by slaves. And its considered that he had a fine ear for recording dialect. His stated intent was to promote a better understanding between the races in the ante-bellum South.

For a bonus question, ask him to compare Brer Fox and Brer Rabbit to characters in Aesops Fables.

I'm sure its possible to find scholarship that suggests just about any interpretation. But there's little to suggest racism. I wouldn't be too quick to accept your son's characterization - not meaning to cast aspersions on anyone or stick my nose into family matters, but his judgement might be a little hasty. It may turn out to be a good learning experience for both of you.


Zip a Dee Do Da,
Tim

Hi Terry, ... If my calculations are correct, you've been using that nickname here at the CF for over a year. I don't believe anyone ever took offense to it and didn't read any second meaning into it.

Like others here, I thought it had something to do with the "Tarheels". As adults we understand and think it's okay. We know you hadn't intended insulting anyone here or I'm sure you would have been told.

Now you have a son who has presented you with a scenario indicating your nickname might be offensive to some. Out of respect for what they try to teach children today, it might be wise to consider having your Wacko Badge changed. Maybe something like "Tar-Tar Terry" might be more appropriate in his eyes.

Political correctness can really stink sometimes, but we must keep our kids pointed in the right direction. If your son felt it might be offensive, then other kids his age may make the same assumption. Better to not embarrass your son.

Bob

I agree with the others, but if you wanted, you could add a little line to your location box like- (A proud Tarheel) for clarification, if you so desire, instead of a name change.

Like everyone else, I thouhgt you were a proud "Tarheel" and was the reason for the username. Not offended here...
Dave

Terry,

I also never considered anything but a connection to North Carolina.

Saying this I must admit after having it pointed out I can see where some might have a problem with the term. It is partially a culture thing.

I have noticed in my travels to lighthouses and to meetings and gatherings of Lighthouse Enthusiasts (such as visitors to Sandy Hook and all the people who showed up for Lighthouse Challenge 2000/2001) that we as a group are mostly White (Caucasian).

People of a different cultural background might interpret your nickmane differently.

I got a response from one of the members of the NJLHS stating that they felt it was innapprpriate to call you, and the others on this Forum, Wackos. I explained it was a term we gave ourselves. She still did not like it, but accepted the explanation. She felt it was offensive term.

It's a perception thing. Your perception is sometimes "colored " by which side of the cultural line you fall on.

I say keep it, but be ready to explain your choice to people who see it as your son does.

Dennis

Terry, you have no problems. Racial slurs like beauty are in the eye of the beholder. It only becomes a slur if the receiver thinks it is. Like most of us alredy posted, I immediately thought you were a fellow North Carolinian. Glad you're part of the forums!!!



[This message has been edited by pharologst (edited 03-20-2002).]

Terry, if your username is in bad taste, then I'm in BIG trouble!!!!!!!

Terry I must admit I didn't think of NC when I saw your name. But that is because there are only 2 or 3 Schools that I bother with the Univ. of Houston (where I am), UT (the other UT, where I'm from before here) and USF (The Don's). You have only yourself to make happy. If you like it keep it, if you are uncomfortable with it lose it. It's that simple. GO VOLS

Chuck

------------------
bigdragon

Personally Terry, I'm deeply, deeply offended.

All kidding aside, I never had a problem with your user's name Terry. You keep it the way it is. If you don't want to feel alone, then this transplanted yankee and adopted son of the south will change his user's name to tarbabytoo. Yeah, right!

Tim - Keeping the flame lit...

Terry,

I never gave it a thought. I just thought it was about being from North Carolina. You are fine keeping it in my humble opinion.

Also when I was a kid I remember a Disney movie called Song of the South. It was filled with good songs and story. I always wanted Disney to put it out so that my children could see it but I am sure that they never will

2beacons

Terry,

I have to admit when I first saw your forum nick name I was a little surprised. I wish I too had just assumed it was the NC thing. If I felt it was intended to be a slur, I would have been bothered by it. But knowing the caliber of people here on the forums, I knew it couldn't have been intended to belittle or hurt. It wasn't until after a couple of months that the Tarheels connection finally came through. Was I offended? no, not offended, just surprised. I just figured there was a good reason and probably should have asked. I think Chuck really nailed it though. You are the only one that you have to make happy. If you like it, keep it.If not, don't. If you want to show your son that he can have input in such things in your life, ask him if he thinks you should change it and why and have him help you pick out a new one. Just a thought. Obviously it ultimately is up to you. You know your intent and that should be good enough for any of us.

Dale

Thanks to everyone who responded. Since I plan on wearing my collector badge to some very public places, and as such I`ll be representing this group when I do, I have decided to change my user name.
JC says its possible to use my previous one.
TA, I did some research on Mr.Harris. He reminded me of a quieter version of Samuel Clements.
Paul, my son being 19 has set his opinions and I`m going to respect them. I don`t want him to think his "old man" is a closed-minded "stick in the mud".
Again, thanks to all who responded.


terry

Ironic that it was your 400th post as tarbaby that will be your last.

It was your decision, of course, Terry.

Well hello all. Its the old-new me.


terry

Welcome back to the old/new you. I'm confused but I certainly respect the fact that you respect your sons wishes. I had a personal friend for years who was a police officer with me in my earlier years and his name was Tarbaby Grenon. WOnderful individual and I have no idea what the origin of his nickname was, but I can tell you he was a respected member of our communtiy. I'm sure you made the right decision as you seem to feel confortable with it.

It's deja vu all over again.

Dennis

Dave, get ready for Terry's new Wacko badge order.

Terry,

I didn't think anything other than North Carolina when you used Tarbaby, but then it seems like everyone over a certain age knew it represented NC. Everyone younger thought of it as a possible slur. I suppose they're more PC.

I think it is great that you value your son's opinion and changed your name.

Joanne